Mail it in big boy, we’re always happy to review, but I’ve listened to the tracks online and frankly I stand by my opinion. In addition, I didn’t remember your name at the gig, and I still think it sounded like a particularly laclustre Annihilator-something off King of the Kill for example. Variation, that’s what you need.

What about the review of the other bands? Do they count? It’s a review of the night out. Your band isn’t very good. In my opinion.

Thefore we are perfectly justified in returning the insult by childish namecalling

(the best kind of namecalling)

We do not simply belittle others, indeed we have given many bands a fair review and had you commented with something like

’sorry you didn’t like our set – we can send you a CD for review if you want or catch us at the next gig and share a few drinks’

then you would have probably got a fair review.

Instead we’ll call you names.

You big fat twat.

!

Funny, I was born in Paddington in 1964, my dad was English and so was my dad.
Interesting huh?

I’ll build a whole web page just for that eh?

I was at this gig and I don’t remember you either, Elimnation. (And I’d hardley started drinking by that point)

Get over yourselves and / or get better

Shall we give them a proper review readers? Alright then, gather round, and I’ll begin…

Entering the cave-like interior of the Underworld is always an adventure, but unfortunately openers Elimination fail to justify the effort it takes to circumnavigate the various hangers-on surrounding the bar. Playing a sub-par thrash that reeks alternately of Alison Hell era Annihilator and an ill-fitting modern sensibility. The vocals carry the diction of Destruction, but are shouted out in a monotone sub Pantera style that does the lacklustre lyrics no favours at all, while the music itself is decidedly po-faced, lacking a sense of fun that would surely bring things to life. Until they lighten up and tighten up, Elimination are treading water, every song sounding alike, with cretinous titles like ‘Destroyed by creation’ making the student intellectualism and simulated extremity all too obvious, the band have the musicianship, but not the vision or creativity to escape the rut they’ve dug themselves.

Better? Now fuck off fatty.

PS:”Campari”?? Really? What covers did they do? The mind boggles!

Worst gig either Harlesdon Labour club, depping for a woeful covers band called “Campari” (they paid me!) or depping for an Irish/C&W band at The Grand in Clapham.
They were selling calendars in the interval for “The Cause” not the safest environment for an Englishman…..

Anyway, terrible pub.

Except Meatloaf, he was alright. And fat Elvis.

Oh, and Barry White was OK.

Englebert Humperdinck? He was a bit chubby round the chops …

… mind you, he wasn’t all that bad either.

I’ve not thought this through.

2lb meat
2lb potatoes

Place meat and potatoes in bowl.
Thrash vigorously for twenty minutes.
Serve.