JLS are lovely lads, I’m sure, but is this the best their team could come up with after their X Factor semi-success? You’d expect more marketing expertise from such a vigorously relentless machine than the release of one of the least remarkable singles of the year. It sounds so late 90s – a time when boybands were already starting to go out of fashion – that it gives me flashbacks to being 20 years old, drunk, incapable of getting up to turn off Top Of The Pops.

The lyrics are depressingly based around heart-failure. Not broken hearts or heartstrings – actual, fatal heart collapse. And the fact that words about hospitals and CPR are occasionally fed through autotune makes it seem even more like your actually listening to the dying words of a stabbed man as a cat walks across the keys of a Casio organ.

But the music isn’t the worst thing about the video. It’s the dress code that flummoxes me. One of JLS is wearing a bowtie, while the little one – the one with the infant girl’s voice who looks like Howard The Duck – is clearly flouting all the rules. His shirt’s unbuttoned to his navel – and surely that kind of arrogance will rile the rest of the JLS posse?

I predict a shirt-button-code-based split is on the cards.