Every time a story emerges about Prince, it seems almost impossible not to feel a bit of hatred towards the annoying midget singer. Yes he might have graced the world with a few catchy pop songs, but Christ is he a complaining prick who spits his dummy out all the time when things don’t quite go his way. Boo hoo indeed Mr. Prince. Do you want us to get you some crayons so you can go squiggle another stupid symbol across your head?

Just like a teenager, Prince went through his rebellious stage when he was a middle aged man. Slightly angry that his record company were supposedly shafting him, the Purple Rain star decided to replace his name with a symbol. Did anyone care? No, at best the majority hoped ink poisoning would kick in.

If it wasn’t enough for Prince to be all upset about symbols and names, he later focussed his anger on digital music. Launching a personal crusade against file sharers, he strongly opposes the medium of musical distribution for free but has now gone one step further. Try visiting Youtube and searching for any releases by him. It’s difficult to listen to studio tracks from him underneath DIY fan videos. Why? Because Prince thinks it’s damaging his musical earnings. Or something like that.

And what’s next on the hit list of the musical superstar? Poor defenceless toddlers, that’s who! Annoyed by the fact that a young child was getting some sort of amusement and joy out of his track “Let’s Go Crazy”, the child’s mother Stephanie Lenz who filmed the clip, was sued for supposed copyright theft.

Of course, it might not be Prince himself directly barking out orders to remove these quite likely poor quality clips featuring a dancing child. Still, there is still a strong chance as he sits in a mansion plotting evil things where everything is lined with velvet and the heads of bootleggers on pikes.

Thankfully, commonsense prevailed and a Californian judge pretty much told Universal Records to piss off and stop wasting his and everybody else’s time. However, this does mean in theory that it’s possible to do dances to our favourite artists and not get in to trouble. We’re going to start by squeezing in to a leotard and prance around like Beyonce. Hell yeah.